Social Anxiety: Does Self-Help Really Help?

For the first 23 years of my life I struggled with social anxiety. I was afraid to show my true identity to the world.

My social anxiety came from a fear of not being accepted for who I was. In fact I was so afraid I isolated myself from making friends. I was never the popular kid and certainly was not invited to parties.

 

Keeping Myself Isolated: Social Anxiety Keeps You Stuck!

Another way I kept myself isolated was… every time something good came into my life was to blow it up!

I’d create bad debts, attract unfulfilling relationships which didn’t serve either of us and I took menial jobs. Jobs which made me feel empty and worthless inside.

Every single morning I’d anxiously awake feeling worried and afraid I was going to let someone else down.

Then at night I’d go to bed hoping to wake in the morning and have all the pain gone. I just wanted it to be over and done with for good. There were times where I even considered ending my own life.

I kept praying and hoping some magical fairy was going to come along and change it all for me and I know it might sound crazy but I didn’t know any other way forward, until this happened…

I came across my old copy of You Can Heal Your Life the same book my mother had used to turn her health around many years ago when diagnosed with Fibromyalgia!

When I dug it out I’d been trying to think positive for sometime and up until this point “trying to think positively” didn’t seem to be working.

A Cold Wet Morning in March

It was a wet Wednesday morning in March… and here I was doing all of this positive thinking when I received a phone call from my boss.

I thought he was calling to congratulate me on finally hitting my sales target. Well… You know where this is going… He wasn’t!

He was calling to tell me they just couldn’t have any more handbrakes on their business and what he was really telling me was, I was one of them!

You’re FIRED!

It felt like my soul had been crushed and the experience of everything going from bad to worse hung in the air like the horrid smell of a forgotten container from the back of your refrigerator.

Bad Debts, Credit Cards and About To Become Homeless

I was over my head in debt to the tune of $38,000, my partner had just left me, and rent was due in just a few short days. And well… We all know what happens if we don’t pay our rent.

Days away from literally being homeless, feeling helpless and like there as no where else to turn! I had to stop pretending to be positive. It appeared it wasn’t woking. I had to find another way!

I had to stop putting a happy faced sticker over what was really going on and in that moment, I had start taking responsibility for what was happening. To figure how to eliminate the very core negative patterns which were causing this mess.

This was one of the darkest days of my life which turned into my greatest day of light.

Darkest Days Become The Lightest

That’s when something finally changed! I discovered by eliminating negative thinking, it created space for the positive.

It was like taking a cup of dirty water and simply tipping it out. Now the cup was clear to be filled with all which is positive.

By letting go of the negative, I learnt how to let go of the rubbish which held me back and kept sending me deeper and deeper into depression.

At the same time as discovering how to overcome my social fears of not being good enough, I learnt how to let go of my social anxieties.

Discovering a true love and appreciation for myself, creating a life worth living and becoming the kind of person others liked and wanted to spend time around.

Learning to allow: The power of letting go!

To my amazement, I found employment I loved with people who appreciated me. I made top quality friends who wanted to hang out with me. All without needing to work hard for them.

It’s then, my life really started to really take off. I

started to feel good about myself and I went on to become a Heal our Life Workshop Leader & Coach, through this I became confident in myself and I really began to learn how to love myself and life.

Now when I say “love myself” I don’t mean vanity or arrogance. I’m simply saying a real appreciation for who I am at a deep level.

 

Free Coaching could help you overcome social anxiety

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Unique Skills & Talents: Ones you don’t even know you have!

I started putting my skills and talents to work. Even ones I didn’t know I had. I got invited to speak on stage at events and was running my own successful workshops.

Seemingly “out of the blue”, people started coming to me and asking me to help them change their lives. They were Office Workers, Teachers, Mums, Dad’s, Doctors, Lawyers, Accountants, Financial Advisors.

These were people I believed and considered highly educated. People who had their lives working extremely well, however turns out, they were struggling on the inside just like I had!

It wasn’t long before I’d built up a monthly community group with over 1,500 members who’s lives also began to change!

The truth out of all of this is… Eliminate your negative thinking and there’s only space left for the positive.

I was able to go on and create a dramatic change in myself and eliminate the negativity of social anxiety, fear from my life. Because of this journey and change my own life, I now get to help others do the same.

All of this is what has lead me to becoming the Australia and New Zealand Heal Your Life Teacher Trainer (find out about becoming a Heal You Life Workshop Leader click here). When you eliminate your negative thinking the only space left is for the positive.

You are worth loving and you do deserve to be happy.

Stay beautiful and as always, remember… I love you!
Damien xoxo

 

4 Comments

  1. hello it’s bharat from the Nepal, yes I understood it, which is really nice in such a country like Australia, new Zeeland and so so developed county but the Nepal is a developing country of south Asia. Here is more than 59% men powers are unemployed and even they are educated and have a job but they are never satisfied with their facilities of the company, they want yo migrate to some European country, American and so so.

  2. Thank you for sharing your story. This is so true about eliminating the negative to allow for the positive. Before I did one of your 2 day workshops, there definitely was no room left for anything positive, I was hijacked by constant negative thoughts, once some of that was released my mind was free and clear and I had room to allow the positive in. It is quite remarkable and now I just cant get enough of it. You are a great teacher and am so grateful to you. 🙂

  3. Author

    Hello Bharat,

    As countries develop people begin to stand up and take the power back into their own hands. Let’s begin to turn the focus on what we can do, focus on the impact we can make in our own lives. No matter how small we believe the changes are we make, they do have a big impact.

    Ask: What can I do that will make a difference for myself in my little patch of the world?

    You do matter and you do make a difference,
    Damien xx

  4. Author

    Nina,

    I am so proud of you and the changes you are making! By emptying the cup of negativity in your life, you’re creating so much space for positivity.

    Keep on going! You’re doing great ♥️
    Damien

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