For the first 23 years of my life, I struggled with social anxiety. I was afraid to show my true identity to the world.
My social anxiety came from a fear of not being accepted for who I was. I was so afraid I isolated myself from making friends. I was never the popular kid, and I was not invited to parties.
Keeping Myself Isolated: Social Anxiety Keeps You Stuck!
Another way I kept myself isolated was… every time something good came into my life was to blow it up!
I’d create bad debts, attract unfulfilling relationships which didn’t serve either of us and I took menial jobs. Jobs that made me feel empty and worthless inside.
Every single morning I’d anxiously awake feeling worried and afraid I was going to let someone else down.
Then at night, I’d go to bed hoping to wake in the morning and have all the pain gone. I just wanted it to be over and done with for good. There were times where I even considered ending my own life.
I kept praying and hoping some magical fairy was going to come along and change it all for me and I know it might sound crazy, but I didn’t know any other way forward until this happened…
I came across my old copy of You Can Heal Your Life the same book my mother had used to turn her health around many years ago when diagnosed with Fibromyalgia!
When I dug it out, I’d been trying to think positive for some time and up until this point “trying to think positive” didn’t seem to be working.
A Cold Wet Morning in March
It was a wet Wednesday morning in March… and here I was doing all of this positive thinking when I received a phone call from my boss.
I thought he was calling to congratulate me on finally hitting my sales target. Well, you know where this is going. He wasn’t!
He was calling to tell me they “couldn’t have any more handbrakes on their business” and he was telling me, I was one of them!
It felt like my soul was crushed and the experience of everything going from bad to worse hung in the air like the horrid smell of a forgotten container from the back of your refrigerator.
Bad Debts, Credit Cards and About To Become Homeless
I was over my head in debt to the tune of $38,000, my partner had just left me, and the rent was due in just a few short days. We all know what happens if we don’t pay our rent.
Days away from literally being homeless, feeling helpless and like there as nowhere else to turn! I had to stop pretending to be positive. It appeared it wasn’t woking. I had to find another way!
I had to stop putting a happy face sticker over what was going on. At that moment, I had to start taking responsibility for what was happening. To figure how to eliminate the very core negative patterns which were causing this mess.
This was one of the darkest days of my life which turned into my greatest day of light.
Darkest Days Become The Lightest
That’s when something finally changed! I discovered by eliminating negative thinking; it created space for the positive.
It was like taking a cup of dirty water and tipping it out. Now the cup was clear to be filled with all which is positive.
By letting go of the negative, I learnt how to release the rubbish which held me back and kept sending me deeper and deeper into depression.
At the same time as discovering how to overcome my social fears of not being good enough, I learnt how to let go of my social anxieties.
Discovering a love and appreciation for myself, creating a life worth living and becoming the kind of person others liked and wanted to spend time around.
Learning to allow: The power of letting go!
To my amazement, I found employment I loved with people who appreciated me. I made top quality friends who wanted to hang out with me. All without needing to work hard for them.
It’s then; my life started to take off.
I started to feel good about myself, and I went on to become a Heal our Life Workshop Leader & Coach, through this, I became confident in myself and began to learn how to love myself and life.
Now when I say “love myself” I don’t mean vanity or arrogance. I mean a real appreciation for who I am at a deep level.
Unique Skills & Talents: Ones you don’t even know you have!
I started putting my skills and talents to work. Even ones I didn’t know I had. I got invited to speak on stage at events and started running regular workshops.
Seemingly “out of the blue”, people started coming to me and asking me to help them change their lives. They were Office Workers, Teachers, Mums, Dad’s, Doctors, Lawyers, Accountants, Financial Advisors.
These were people I believed and considered highly educated.
People who I thought “had their lives working well”. It turns out; they were struggling on the inside just like I had!
It wasn’t long before I’d built up a monthly community group with over 1,500 members whose lives also began to change!
The truth out of all of this is… Eliminate your negative thinking and there’s only space left for the positive.
I was able to go on and create a dramatic change in myself and eliminate the negativity of social anxiety, fear from my life. Because of this journey and change, I now get to help others do the same.
With what I thought was a small change in my life, it created a far-reaching ripple effect. I couldn’t even conceive of the impact at the time.
All of this, lead me to become Australia and New Zealand’s Heal Your Life Teacher Trainer (find out about becoming a Heal Your Life Workshop Leader click here).
Most importantly, I discovered “When you eliminate your negative thinking the only space left is for the positive”.
You are worth loving, and you do deserve to be happy.
Stay beautiful and as always, remember… I love you!